Thankful for God's care over us

This will be short but I could write a lot but I am just now at my apartment
getting some things done...I feel rather numb and pretty lost without Paul...I miss him so much...I was real pleased with the Memorial service and will talk about this later..I just wanted to say hello to everyone...talk to you later..Much love,Mary

Saturday Afternooon....

I AM STILL HAVING SOME PAIN EVEN THOUGH I WENT TUESDAY TO THE PAIN CLINIC AND HAVING TO TAKE PAIN PILLS HOPING THAT IT WILL EASE UP IN A FEW DAYS...I AM DEALING WITH THE DEATH OF A GOOD FRIEND, KAY, WHO I MET SINCE COMING TO LIVE HERE AT APPLEDORN..SHE WAS 96 AND DIED YESTERDAY MORNING..SHE REALLY HAD A LONG LIFETIME AND WAS A VERY ALERT PERSON...I DID SOME GROCERY SHOPPING WITH STEVE THIS MORNING AND I AM GOING AT 4:15 AND HAVE SUPPER WITH PAUL...YESTERDAY WHEN I VISITED HIM HE WAS RATHER SLEEPY AND NOT TOO ALERT...THIS IS SO PAINFUL FOR ME BUT FEEL THAT HE REALLY ISN'T IN ANY PAIN..I PLAN TO GO TO CHURCH IN THE MORNING AND HAVE NOON MEAL WITH HIM THEN BACK TO APPLEDORN WHERE I WILL HAVE MY EVENING MEAL..HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH...IT IS MUCH WARMER HERE AND THE SNOW IS MELTING..THE WIND IS WHISTLING AROUND MY BEDROOM WINDOW...HOPE ALL HAVE A NICE DAY...LOVE YOU....MARY

A WINTERY DAY AT APPLEDORN...

I STARTED OFF TODAY BY GOING ON THE VILLAGE BUS TO BREAKFAST WITH A GOUP OF LADIES..IT WAS SO RELAXING AND I ENJOYED IT VERY MUCH...THEN I CAME BACK AND GOT OUR MAINTENANCE MAN TO PUT TOGETHER MY MICROWAVE CART FOR MY KITCHEN...TOOK A REST...THEN PUT IN A COUPLE LOADS OF WASH AND THEN I WILL GO OVER AND HAVE SUPPER WITH PAUL..THE SWELLING HAS GONE DOWN ENOUGH THAT I AM ABLE TO WEAR MY SHOES...TOMORROW I GO TO THE PAIN MANAGEMENT CLINIC SO I SHOULD GET RID OF THE PAIN IN MY BACK...IT HAS LASTED FOR ABOUT 3 WEEKS..THEN TO TALK DOCTOR IN THE AFTERNOON...THEN TO MY M.D. ON WEDNESDAY...SO I HAVE A BUSY WEEK...I PLAN TO GO OVER AND HAVE SUPPER WITH PAUL TONIGHT..I MISS HIM SO MUCH BUT KNOW THAT HE IS REALLY GETTING GOOD CARE AT THE COTTAGE..IT HAS NOT BEEN QUITE AS COLD TODAY AS IT HAS BEEN...HOPE EVERYONE IS HAVING A GOOD DAY...LOVE, MARY

jJUST RE;LAXING...

i WENT OVER AND HAD LUNCH WITH PAUL...ONE OF THE LADIES HAD A BIRTHDAY..86TH..AND WE HAD A WONDERFUL MEAL OF FRIED CHICKEN, NEW POTATOES, AND GREEN BEANS WITH ORANGE SHERBET PUNCH AND A DELICIOUS BIRTHDAY CAKE..THEN PAUL AND I WENT BACK TO HIS ROOM...HE BEGAN BY LOOKING AROUND AT EVERYTHING AND FINALLY WENT TO THE OTHER SIDE OF HIS BED AND STARTED UNDRESSING..I AM SITTING THERE KNITTING, SO I GOT UP AND HAD ONE OF THE MEN COME AND I JUST LEFT THEM TOGETHER IN THE ROOM...WHEN I WENT BACK, PAUL WAS COMPLETELY DRESSED IN ANOTHER OUTFIT AND AFTER LOOKING AROUND A LITTLE HE WENT OVER TURNED HIS COVERS DOWN AND CLIMBED IN BED AND PROCEEDED TO GO TO SLEEP...BEFORE WE CAME IN AFTER SUPPER, HE TOLD ME HE WANTED ME TO LEAVE AND I TOLD HIM THAT HE WAS STUCK WITH ME AS I COULDN'T LEAVE UNTIL STEVE CAME FOR ME..STEVE DID COME AND I CAME HOME WHERE I HAD SOMETHING TO EAT. ADDRESSED A CARD TO MY FRIEND WHO IS IN THE HOSPITAL...AND NOW I AM GOING TO GET READY FOR BED....GOODNIGHT...MARY

MY SOLITARY LIFE......

i JUST CAME HOME FROM HAVING SUPPER AND SPENDING SOME TIME WITH PAUL..THIS IS SO HEARTBREAKING FOR ME..HE IS QUICKLY LEAVING ME BEHIND...NOT THAT HE DOESN'T RESPOND BUT HAS AN INNER LIFE OF HIS OWN...WHEN I GOT THERE THIS EVENING HE WAS SITTING AT A TABLE WHERE A FELLOW FRIEND WAS LOOKING AT A PHOTO ALBUM AND WAS DISTURBEDD THAT PAUL WAS NOT JOINING HER IN LOOKING AT THE PICTURES...I SAT DOWN AND TOLD HER THAT HE DID THIS BECAUSE IT WAS HER FAMILY AND HE DIDN'T KNOW THEM...THEN SHE SAID WELL, I WILL TELL THEM WHO THEY ARE BUT PAUL STILL WASN'T INTERESTED...I WALKED WITH PAUL TO HIS ROOM AND VERN IN HIS WHEELCHAIR FOLLOWED US AND CAME INTO THE ROOM AND ASK ME THAT AFTER I HAD PUT PAUL TO BED, THEN I COULD COME AND PUT HIM TO BED...I STAYED FOR EVENING MEAL WHICH AS USUAL WAS VERY GOOD...I AM KNITTING A LITTLE BEAR TO SEND TO A CHILD IN AFRICA SO I WANT TO DO A LITTLE KNITTING TONIGHT...IT HAS BEEN A LONG DAY AS I WENT TO MY DOCTOR THIS AFTERNOON AND HE WANTS TO SEE ME NEXT WEEK AND THEN WE WILL THEN GO TO EVERY OTHER WEEK...HE IS HELPING WITH THE DIFFICULT TASK OF REALIZING THAT I TRULY AM LOSING MY LOVE AND WILL HAVE TO PICK UP THE PIECES AS BEST I CAN...GOODNIGHT FOR NOW....MARY

SO GRATEFUL FOR ANOTHER DAY..

I JUST WATCH THE MOVIE "PRAYERS FOR BOBBY" AND WAS VERY MOVED OF A STORY OF A FAMILY AND HOW THEY HANDLED THAT THEIR SON WAS GAY..I WOULD RECOMMEND THIS MOVIE TO YOU IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT...I WENT TO CHURCH THIS MORNING, THEN OUT TO THE 8TH STREET GRILL TO HAVE LUNCH WITH EILEEN AND STEVE...THEN THEY TOOK ME BY THE COTTAGE AND I SPENT THE AFTERNOON WITH PAUL AND HAD SUPPER WITH HIM...HE SEEMS TO BE MUCH MORE RELAXED AND AT HOME..IT IS HEARTBREAKING TO SEE HOW THIS TERRIBLE DISEASE IS ROBBING HIM AND I MUST CONFESS THAT I HAD TO HAVE A GOOD CRY..THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CRY IN ABOUT 1 1/2 YEARS..I AM GROWING TO LOVE AND CARE FOR THE OTHER ELDERS AND FIND THAT THEY ARE BECOMING A PART OF MY FAMILY..SO AS I FEEL THAT THE PEOPLE OF APPLEDORN FEEL LIKE FAMILY...SO DOES THE PEOPLE BOERSMA COTTAGE..THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER LONG DAY AND I LOOK FORWARD TO SOME REST...GOODNIGHT AND GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU..LOVE, MARY